LOSING MY FESTIVAL VIRGINITY.

Leeds 09 was just insane. I expected a lot of people being drunk in a lot of fields, but from horror stories about security and general past run-ins with tha' po, i thought it would be a lot more (attempt-ably) controlled. WROOONG. Fourteen year old girls with glittery faces were passing out all over the place, and majority of the 'security' consisted of like-minded idiots who were just volunteering for a free ticket, and thus were usually as drunk or if not more than everyone else. On one occasion i even witnessed one who was supposed to be guarding the supermarket and checking for shoplifters actively encourage theft of alcohol so he could be all like 'gizzza swiig' outside. just ridiculous. I also outdid myself in terms of partying hard 09. i was expecting to have a ripe old 4 or 5 hour sleep every night, before getting up, sauntering to the showers, watching some kickass mooysik, then getting para at night before curling up in my soggy sleeping bag and going through the whole ordeal again. It transpired that i was getting drunk at half 11 in the morning, remaining off my (horrendous after 4 days of no hygiene) teenage face throughout the day and on until the night, where i'd then go gallivanting all around the campsites being a nuisance with my crewdemz and getting into all sorts of shenanigans (including one fond memory of me and a ridiculously hot geordie girl pushing people around in a pram we'd stolen at 6 in the morning. (o shit i just realised we actually stole a pram, soz baba!)), before staggering back to my campsite at sunrise, blazed/ smashed out my unclean head, and wrapping myself up in soggy nylon for an hour or two. In fact my sleeping pattern went 3 hours on the first night, then 2 hours, then 1 hour, then none on the last night (HARDKORE09). Speaking of the last night, it was just insane. After a good 4 or 5 hours of building bonfires out of abandoned tents, gazebos, sleeping bags, picnic tables, and a whole lot of aerosols (soz environment, hello explosionz) i sauntered over to another campsite to try and fine some of my homies (the guy i was originally with pussied out and went to my bed at a mere 3 0 clock, i say my bed because we smashed his tent up and burnt his sleeping bag), when i stumbled upon a few people with sledges on a massive muddy hill. Naturally, i joined in, and it soon erupted into a massive phenomenon, resulting in about 200 people drunkenly falling/sledging/wrestling each other down the muddy everest. It was insane and left me covered in blood, mud, and far too many bruises to count.
Other highlights include the black lips stage invasion (me and jared, bezzies fo lyf), MSTRKRFT who were just unbelievable, dananananakroyd, who were new to me but really enjoyable, prodigy who were predictably insane, convincing a totally wasted guy to piss onto a tent and then crush it (which he did in an amazing flying-karate-chop-manner, as opposed to the simple forward roll we asked of him, the horrors, who unbeknown to me have taken a whole new direction for the better (AND some of them weren't wearing black,) a surprise chase and status dj set in a big dance tent sometime in the early hours of the saturday morning, and of course, the legend of poo girl.